The infinite dress.

I am sort of obsessed with infomercials, and can be found staying up late, late, late to watch the latest hand cream being massaged onto someone's liver spots or Murad transforming a pimpled teen into Linda Evanglista...

But my favorite infomercial has to have been The Infinite Dress. Remember that delicious mess Jenilee Harrison, pre- dramatic, trannie-esque plastic surgery, when she hawked this matte jersey number until the wee hours. I think you could use the dress to put out a fire after dolling up to look like Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal a la Mandee Sez.

More on that later, I spot a Chinese elephant side table that is saying, "Buy me."

Have to pull over.